It’s nearly A Level results time, and if you’re not in the firing line this year, perhaps you remember very recently indeed the trepidation that can precede that day… If you’re already at uni, you might have had some of this year’s marks already or you might be waiting for the dreaded resits to happen. Wherever you’re at, August can be a month that brings not just drowsy summer days, but anxiety dreams and palpitations too. Will I get the marks I need? Did I work hard enough? Will I succeed?
All of which has got me wondering about what constitutes our idea of success? Is a successful August one in which you sleep, party and holiday for a month, or one in which you complete six assignments and read your own bodyweight in journals? Successful A Levels and degrees are undoubtedly ones you pass, no one can deny that… and the whoops, cheers and sighs of relief as students open their results will be testament to the enormous investment of time, love and resource that goes into each and every one of your college years. And if, like me all those years ago, opening your results brings only disbelief, depression and a whole new set of worries, please do remember that all is not lost and you are just going to have a more bespoke path to get to where you want to go.
I wonder how we measure success in all these things, and in all our lives? It’s easy, isn’t it, to fall prey to the idea that our success is measured solely by external things – our qualifications, our certificates, our degrees. And these things do point to hard work and dedication (although I don’t remember having to work especially hard for my Brownie badges, so perhaps they don’t count…). We might also measure it by our TikTok followers, our perfectly groomed eyebrows or our prowess on the football pitch.
But if I’m honest, I know that if I try to compete in any of these areas, I’ll succeed averagely at best! As will most of us – the very definition of winning at something means that others will lose. So I find that instead, I try to measure my success in the world by how present I am to its wonders. Admittedly that’s not so easy on a day like today, with unseasonal summer rain pounding on the windows. And it’s really a challenge with the money worries, climate fears and war terrors we’re all experiencing to some degree. But perhaps these terribly negative factors are the very things that make it more important that we succeed at life. This includes succeeding at our study and work, but also means succeeding in appreciating the little things in life; the blessings we already have; the small wins and the gentle kindnesses. To live this one, precious life intensely, to feel it deeply and to pay attention with all of our being - I think that’s what success really amounts to. Living this life, whatever it holds, to the full.
Excerpt from When Death Comes by Mary Oliver
When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.