If you’d met me between the ages of five and fifteen, I’d have told you that I was going to be a doctor. I had researched universities, spoken to people, watched Casualty every week – there was no way my plan wasn’t going to work, until it….didn’t. When I spectacularly failed my physics GCSE paper (I got 8% correct, which even with my positive hat on isn’t good) I lost my place to study sciences at A level, which cost me a chance to do medicine. At the time it was crushing, although I chose to hide my true level of disappointment, put on a stoic face and applied for something else instead. My second plan to study theology ended up changing at the last moment too, because the university closed their department a few months after I applied. By eighteen, I was onto my third plan, which was definitely not what I had anticipated.
I share this twenty years later, with the gift of hindsight. It was during the season of uncertainty that I learnt more about trusting an unknown future to a known God.
Perhaps your plan is looking exactly as you expected it to.
Perhaps it isn’t.
But both of those are okay.
As Christian’s, we have a unique perspective on uncertainty. We know what (or rather who) offers us certainty and for everything else we know we can trust in a God who asks us to follow him on a lifetime of adventure. Whilst in the moment things might feel confusing we know that God calls us into the unknown. For me, there was a lot of wrestling and questioning - I couldn’t see how any good could come from the situation I was in. What helped was to hear other people’s stories – both in the bible and of people around me. In this season, surround yourself with Christian friends, church leaders, anyone who can testify to the journey they’ve been on with God.
Uncertainty might look to you like beginning at the university of choice but not knowing anyone, perhaps for others it will be working out a new plan through clearing, doing a gap year or internship or simply taking some time to listen to what God is guiding. Whilst the world tells us that we must have a brilliant, step by step colour-coded plan which will make us be exactly who we should be, God says something different.
Whatever your results are, take some time this week to remind yourself of who it is that God says you are. You are a loved, valued and cherished child of the God who made you, and this will be true whatever the future looks like.
Regardless of your achievements – it is true.
Regardless of someone else’s achievements – it is true
Regardless of what someone says about you – it is true.
Regardless of the lies you may tell yourself – it is true.
If it feels hard to hold on to those promises, think about writing them down or having a physical reminder to look at. Bonus points if it is something tangible you can take to university with you! In the book of Joshua, when the Israelites crossed the river Jordan into the Promised land they were instructed to place some stones as a reminder for future generations of God’s faithfulness and provision because God knows we are people who forget. Maybe do that now – rejoice in all God has done for you to be in the place you’re in now and with thankfulness consider what happens next. Ultimately, wait with hope as you embrace the inherent uncertainty of the future. We know that God holds our future whether it looks like we want it to or not. His plans for the rest of your life, not just this next step are filled with hope and he will be with you every step of the way.
Written by Jenny Cavendish. Jenny has worked for Youthscape since 2020, first running the Alumina project and now in the Innovation team. Alongside this, she is a psychotherapist and works around the world consulting to special schools on trauma and self harm.