On Wednesday 22nd October, to mark Ace Week 2025, I had the privilege of hosting ‘Ace & Faith: Real Stories, Sacred Journeys’ in collaboration with Ace Space LDN. The event brought together four speakers who identified within the asexual (and/or aromantic) spectrum from a variety of different faith backgrounds to talk about how they lived out their sexuality alongside their spiritual or religious practices. As someone who identifies within the umbrella of asexuality, I found the openness of the conversation and the engagement of audience members deeply moving and powerful and I firmly believe that it served its purpose of creating an inclusive dialogue on asexuality within religious context, an intersection that is often overlooked and ignored within both LGBTQ+ and faith communities.
One big takeaway from the event was that we were made by God and as such we are exactly what they made us to be, which includes our ace identities. Though we may express or live out our faith differently, the panellists were adamant on this and shared the belief that that we are all guided by God towards preaching love and inclusion in our religious spaces and beyond using scripture to unite us rather than judge or divide.
Another thing that was clear was the need for a greater understanding from religious spaces and the wider community of what asexuality means rather than resorting to harmful stereotypes and misconceptions. First and foremost, asexuality is a spectrum, and people can experience it in a multitude of ways while still identifying with the label. One size does not fit all! For example, one misconception is that ace = celibate but in fact ace individuals can (and do) fall in love, get married and have sex. Afterall, as panellist Aryam reminded us, we cannot control our feelings, and an individual is not any less ace if they are in a relationship!
On this point, it is worth noting that there is no one way to be asexual. The umbrella encompasses many identities including demisexual: individuals who only feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional connection with someone, non-sex-averse asexual: individuals who may engage in sexual activity without experiencing sexual attraction and greysexual: individuals who may experience sexual attraction but in an infrequent or inconsistent way.This list is in no way exhaustive so if you are exploring ace identities I would encourage you to explore different identities and find one that fits.
While the event was full of joy, acceptance, affirmation of identities and mutual understanding, it also highlighted how much work there is still to be done for asexual individuals to be fully seen, known and understood in faith communities. The panellists touched on some assumptions and stereotypes they had been subject to and what they found most challenging whilst reconciling their ace identity with their faith including not feeling comfortable coming out to the general congregation. We also touched on how ace identities may be viewed differently to others within the LGBTQ+ community and how that can feel both positive and negative but still flags the need for greater acceptance within faith spaces. The difficult elements to their stories remind us that ignorance still exists and many still feel isolated and unseen even in spaces that preach of God’s love.
The ‘Ace and Faith’ panel was not the end of the story but rather the beginning of a much larger conversation. We, as people of faith, must challenge faith communities to grow in love and understanding of those who are so often ‘othered’. I am so pleased that SCM (with Ace Space LDN) were ready to take this step, and I hope this will continue throughout the year ahead and beyond exploring other topics around asexuality including ways in which neurodiversity intersects with asexuality and how it can shape lived experience of relationships, intimacy and inclusion within faith contexts.