The Power Within: Empowered, Encouraged, Enlightened.

"My life is ruined”
“I hate myself”
“No one will love me”
Once upon a time, I used to believe those things. I was incredibly unhappy. I hated myself and my life. Every relationship I had was a disaster, I did not trust anybody. I felt like people continuously took from me. The same way my childhood was taken away from me. I constantly yearned for what I had lost as a child, but I knew there was no way to get it back.
University changed my life in ways I never thought were possible. The first module in my third year was based around child abuse. This brought back horrific memories. I had never spoken to anyone regarding my past, however at this point I completely broke down and would have spoken to anyone willing to listen, and in this case, it was my tutor.
The hardest part was opening up and telling another human being what had actually happened to me. I felt like I was revealing my deepest, darkest secret to a stranger. Little did I know this was the best thing I could have done because, from this point onwards, my life changed for the better.
My tutor was so kind and understanding; she listened to everything I had to say and provided me with the guidance and support I desired. She referred me to speak with the university counsellor and chaplaincy. I was embarrassed to be seeing a counsellor however it was kept completely confidential. Having the opportunity to have my voice heard by somebody with a general interest in helping people was truly amazing.
The chaplaincy helped me to restore my faith in God and develop my relationship with him. I visited the chapel to have some quiet time and to speak to God. I felt like he heard my prayers and answered my questions. After numerous counselling sessions and visits to the chaplaincy I started to have a clearer mind, I learnt more about myself and accessing the power within me.
With God by my side and a strong support system in place I was able to make the difficult decision to report this case to the police and finally found closure. I graduated with a 2:1 and received a 1st in my safeguarding children dissertation. I left university feeling free and realising God had been there all along, I just needed to seek him.
I’m sharing my story because I want to use my experience to help people that have had a rough start in life. 1 in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused. I am living proof that there is help out there and accessing it can only bring positivity into your life. More importantly, God works in mysterious ways. Coming from an Indian background, I had no support from my family and although they did not physically hurt me, I felt as though they played a part in the torture. Through the justice of God I was able to access external support and I found the happiness I had been longing for.
If you have been affected by this story, The Survivor's Trust has a directory of local support services that may be able to help you.